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Jeff the Killer: I Told You to Go to Sleep!

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Humor Article

The following story is not supposed to be a creepypasta or spinpasta.
It was made for comedy, and shall not be taken seriously.

Jeff the Killer

Jeff the Killer (I told you to go to sleep):

Hello! Many you out there know me as Hazuki Mikuri, but my real name in real life is Jane, and yes I see the humor in this because my name is Jane and my Favorite Creepy Pasta character is Jane The Killer. Anyway why don’t we just start the story already, I am here today to tell you about one of Jeff’s victims a young girl about my age named Laurasis who lived in this small town or city or whatever the fuck you want to call it this city or town was called Caseville. See Laurasis was the kind of girl who never got in trouble, did what she was told to do and was very friendly even to people who hated her, but that all changed on March 15/2007. See it was lunch time, and Laurasis and her friends Bitch Boy, Gunther and ShitFace where outside eating their lunches and talking about random shit, having a good time but that all changed soon enough after Bitch Boy mentioned “his” name.

“Hey Laurasis ever heard of Jeff the Killer?” Bitch Boy asked


“He’s this guy who carved his face into an eternal smile then killed his parents and little brother Lui” Gunther told Her.

After Gunther said all that a chill went down Laurasis’s spine and she quickly lost her appetite and so she threw her peanut butter and jelly sandwich away.

“Hey Laurasis I triple dog dare you to look up Jeff before you go to bed tonight” Shit Face said!

“Hell No!” she screamed

“You have to do it it’s a triple dog dare.” Gunther teased

“Fine.” Laurasis said.

After school ended Laurasis decided to run home instead of walking home with her friends like she usually did. After she got home she got on the computer and went on Facebook till midnight. After it hit midnight she quickly typed in creepy pasta’s URL site and looked up Jeff the Killer and what greeted her on this site was a picture of a guy with a face carved into a smile, just looking at this picture made Laurasis sick and so she quickly shut her computer down and crawled into bed and fell asleep.

An hour after she fell asleep she woke up only to see a man in a white hoodie and black dress pants looming over her. She began to scream but Jeff set his hand over her mouth and lifted his knife high above his head.

“Shshsh don’t worry just Go To Sleep.”

Then Jeff stabbed Laurasis in the chest continuously till her blood covered his hoodie.

The next day after Jeff Killed her, Bitch Boy, Gunther and Shit Face where called into the principal’s office where a cop was standing beside him.

“I’m sorry to say this but last night your friend Laurasis was murdered.” Principal Dumbass said

“She’s dead?” the three of them said at the same time

Dumbass sighed and slammed his fist into the table.

“I know one of you were behind it so tell me who THE FUCK killed her!”

“We don’t know.” Gunther said

“Bull shit you don’t I know one of you knows something so start talking now Dammit!” dumbass yelled

Bitch Boy sighed.

“I think I know what killed her.” He said


“Jeff the killer did”

“Show me this Jeff, now!” Dumbass said

He then turned his laptop around, Bitch Boy got up and typed in Creepypasta’s URL and clicked on Jeff’s picture then showed it to Dumbass.

Dumbass responded by pissing and shitting his pants, surprised that this monster no….. This demon was what caused Laurasis to die.

Now let me end this part of the story to have you all meet Jeff who is just happy to see all of you.

“That’s right and to show how happy I am I think I’ll start with Jane.” Jeff said

“Wait what the Hell do you mean by tha------“

Just then Jeff kicked me in my side so hard that I fell to the ground, then he kicked really hard in me in the side so that I was be lying on my back, he then grabbed the back of my hair lifted me up so that my face was leveled with his carved up face and then he said “Go To Sleep!”

Jeff then slit my throat and let go of my hair and then started laugh as I laid there on the ground drowning in a pool of my own blood.

“Now do you fucking get it I only let this Bitch write about me so that my name would be better known, hell even the Devil himself probably wouldn’t even let me into Hell. Just know that all you who’re reading this I’m coming for you, actually for all you know I could be behind you right now or I could be hiding in your fucking room waiting for you to go to sleep.”

“I’ll have the most fun with the Person I save for last because they’ll suffer worse than this Bitch or any of my other victims I’ve had over the years. So Let the Fun begins and remember Go To Sleep.”

Afterwards Jeff walked away from my corpse laughing like the psychotic fuck he is. Everyone who read this please watch out because Jeff could be looking for you right now, I wouldn’t doubt it so and I know I'm quoting Jane but “Don’t Go to Sleep. You Won’t Wake Up”.

Signed Jane Taylor

If you liked this story then the next story is called the true Faceless boogeyman. After that is Jeff’s Doggy. Then 1…2…Jane’s coming for you. And last but not least Freddy Krueger’s (from the nightmare on elm street movies) Twin Brother. I hope you like my stories though their probably not as good as Mr. Creepy Pasta’s but I hope with all my heart that you at least enjoy my stories also.

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