In any city you can get to, go to the nearest pharmacy. If you see a line forming, leave and come back the next day, repeating this until there is no one to hold you up. Head to the clerk and ask them to see the Holder of Temporary Relief. If they cringe and then ignore you, leave and find another pharmacy, if they hold their head and start groaning, hand them the nearest medicine you can find. Then they will walk behind them to a door, you must go in before them. Once inside, you will see a long stairwell, stand on the first step, and wait for the clerk to walk in and lock the door behind them.
They will then push you down the stairwell. It will injure you badly, but when you reach the bottom you will find that you only have a mild aching feeling. In front of you will be a corridor. Walk down it rubbing your hands along the sides. The walls are made of soft fur and will ease your mind as you walk. At the end of the corridor is a red door with white trim. Enter through it, and brace yourself, for the aching feeling that only irritated you before will feel as if thousands of needles are poking through your wounds, if you cannot resist feeling your wounds to relieve their pain, the same clerk who pushed you will find your broken body in the pharmacy back room.
If you carry on, eventually you will reach a large thistle bush, thrust your hand inside and search around until you feel something soft. Pull it out gently, no matter how much your arm stings and itches. If you have suffered enough, inside your hand will be an empty pill bottle, and you will pass out and appear at the counter, with an empty bottle of whatever brand of medicine you handed the clerk.
That empty bottle is object #573 out of 2538. Inside, will you find relief or just double your pain?
Credited to Anonymous