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Dead Bart (Alternate)

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About a month ago, while cleaning out my parents storage room, I came upon an old betamax tape with "The Simpsons" written on the label in crayon. Having just purchased an old VCR from Goodwill, this piqued my curiosity and I decided to pop it in.

The tape contained two episodes, the first being the one in which George Bush moves in across the street. I assumed that the tape ended there, but before I could shut off the VCR, the phone rang. I went to get it and answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Phone call for Al... Al Coholic... is there an Al Coholic here?"

"What?"

-click-

I, of course, passed this off as nothing more than an appropriately timed prank call and returned the phone to its cradle. Figuring that the tape would run down, I decided to make coffee and review my history paper.

As I was correcting some spelling mistakes, I heard an eerie cry emanating from the back room. I couldn't make it out at first, but as I drew closer, I heard, with disturbing clarity.

"BAAAAAAART... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!"

Upon my return, I was faced with the visage of Bart Simpson plummeting from an airplane, probably about 50 feet up, and landing on the tarmac with a sickening crunch.

As this transpired, I noticed an odd smell emanating from the VCR, seconds before it caught fire. Fortunately I was able to put out the fire before it spread. Unfortunately, the VCR was a write-off and I accidentally inhaled some of the fumes, which led to endemic and seemingly inexplicable nightmares over the next few weeks.

Seeking closure, I tried to remove the tape from the remains of the VCR, from where I could (hopefully) play it on another VCR. Though I achieved this, upon playing the tape in a second VCR (again from Goodwill) the only footage which was legible was the shot of Bart's corpse at the end of act one which, for some reason, had melded with the opening theme.

I only hope that, by posting this, I can impress upon others the horror that is 7G06. If you ever have an opportunity to see the REAL Dead Bart; DON'T!

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